I’ve been working on our online catalog but I need help with the descriptions.

Have you ever tried to find someone around this place who can spell, is articulate enough to write copy and knows jewelry?

Save yourself the trouble, I’m probably the best we have. Scary isn’t it?

Maybe I can get the boss lady to give me descriptions and I’ll finish out the copy. I’m sure she has lots of spare time.

I guess that leaves Deb and me. I hope no one’s in a hurry for this stuff.

I’ve been back at work for over a week and I still can’t find my store keys.

I tossed them in the drawer on my last day before my surgery and when I came back two weeks later they were nowhere to be found and everyone I’ve talked to disavows all knowledge of their whereabouts.

The flash drive I use (used) to transport small files to and from work has also gone walkabout.

Lastly, my favorite pen – you know, that special pen that feels just right and writes ever so smoothly – is AWOL.

Nobody will admit to having touched any of these items….. And I really miss that pen.

Well everything’s normal around these parts.

The changes being made are resulting in almost no change.
The bosses want it all done yesterday.
We ran out of critical supplies because of back orders and holiday delays.
Everybody is blaming everybody else for the inevitable screw-ups.
Back-stabbing gossip is rampant.
And we still drink Folgers coffee by the gallon.
Nobody is pulling and checking hard goods but me so it’s gotten way behind.
I’ve been told to concentrate on our new online catalog to the exclusion of all else.
I’m not being allowed to “concentrate on our new online catalog to the exclusion of all else.”
Etc.

Yup. Everything is normal and running true to course.